Have a Little Faith
by SazDelToro
Summary: Dean is questioning his faith and Castiel is there to answer. Dean/Castiel slash.


This is my first Supernatural fic ever and I have tried as best as I can to have the characters at least in some sense believable. And I love Castiel and Dean so I thought my first fic really should be about them. It's nothing too much, just a little light slash.

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Sighing softly Dean Winchester looked out across the water and shivered slightly as he felt the rain slowly begin to fall. The night was silent and the light of the moon reflected off the water, giving the isolated lakeside just enough light for Dean to be able to see out ahead of him. His fingers were wrapped tightly around a bottle of beer and the thought of where Sam was briefly entered into his mind, bringing with it a sense of loneliness Dean had become so familiar with.

'Had to go using your freaky powers again didn't you Sammy?' He thought to himself as he glanced once more over the lake. Somewhere along the way he had lost Sam and lost sight of what was left of his family. The faith Castiel so often requested was something Dean could not give him, something that had slipped from his fingers along with everything he had sacrificed in the name of hunting.

"Why is it you sit here Dean?" The voice came from nowhere, a voice the eldest Winchester had become so familiar with. Turning his head to his right he was not surprised to find Castiel sitting beside him, looking out at the water as if he had never seen such a sight before. "He is alright. And he will return, as he always does."

"Why me? Why couldn't this be someone else's goddamn life?" He asked agitatedly, not really expecting an answer from the angel sat by him. Dean did not understand why but he was quickly discovering Cass was one of the only 'people' he felt he had left, which seemed to him almost an entirely strange thought in itself.

"Because it is just the way it has to be Dean."

Setting the bottle of beer on the ground Dean laid back and rested his hands behind his head, glancing up at the stars as if he could find the answer he needed. To fight the coming war he needed faith but it seemed the one thing he no longer had, the one thing his time in Hell had taken from him.

"So what happens when this war is over? What in hell's name do I do after that?"

"You still have such little faith. You believe that even after all this you will have nothing."

"What else is there to believe?"

For as little as the angel understood humanity at that moment Castiel could see the pain in his eyes, could sense the sorrow Dean felt about his very existence and what remained for him. He could understand his pain, something he knew Uriel and the others could not, and for a moment he himself felt such sorrow for him.

"All actions have consequences, even yours. You don't understand but there will be rewards one day for the good that you have done. Find faith in that Dean, you will need it in the coming months."

Inhaling deeply Castiel glanced at Dean before mimicking his actions, resting his hands behind his head as he lay down beside him. His attachment to the mortal and his care for him was deemed entirely wrong by the others and seemed just so to even Castiel himself, made him feel as if he was betraying his Father in the very worst way just by having such thoughts about him. But Castiel could not deny his feelings for the elder Winchester, no matter how much they seemed to conflict with everything he had ever believed in before.

"I understand your conflict. To feel as if you have to choose between two things of such great importance, even if you do not see that."

Closing his eyes tightly Dean did not flinch when the rain began to fall faster, crashing down as he and Castiel lay on the ground in the dead of night. It was the longest Cass had stayed and he was thankful for it, finding a vague sense of solace in the words of the angel. His feelings towards him were confusing to say the least but Dean found that the one thing he understood was the connection they shared was far more complex and entirely different from anything he had known before.

"You're still here." He stated simply, as if saying it aloud would make the angel remain for a little longer.

"Because you need me Dean." He said plainly as he turned his attention to him. "I do not envy the path ahead of you but that does not mean you have to walk it alone."

His lack of faith lay entirely in his loneliness Castiel believed, the loneliness that had seemed to come with a life spent hunting down the darkness. As Sam headed down an ever darker path Castiel sensed the fear Dean felt in not being able to stop him from doing so, in feeling ever more distanced from the brother he had spent so long protecting from the very darkness they had hunted for so long.

"You're different from Uriel, I mean you're not a total dick for one, but I don't get it."

"I have faith where Uriel does not, more so I have faith in you." He said softly, in a tone Dean had never heard from the angel before and he for a brief moment wondered if angels were capable of feeling the same emotions as the mortals they were so desperately trying to save.

Closing his eyes briefly Dean sighed as he felt Cass's gaze on him. He was tired of hunting, tired of trying so desperately to fight a battle that felt increasingly impossible to win. The life he had imagined so long ago, a one free of hunting or isolation seemed to be slipping away from him and all he found himself left with was nightmares of an existence he had suffered in the name of saving someone he loved.

"You should go inside; weather like this is not good for you."

"It's just rain Cass, ain't gonna kill me." Dean said, almost amused at the angels concern over something so simple. "Why do you have faith in me? Other than the big guy commanding it?"

"Because I have witnessed the good you have done Dean, enough to be certain you will be ready when the time comes to do what you have to do." Pausing briefly Castiel turned his attention away from Dean before speaking again. He was uncertain of what being honest with him would lead to, what the consequences of his actions could be but the angel felt that after all Dean had been through he deserved the truth and nothing less. "The connection I feel toward you, the compassion I hold is not looked upon well by the others. They say I have been tainted by your mortality and I fear there is an undeniable truth to their words."

"I pulled you out of Hell Dean because it was commanded by my Father but I did not realise that even my own actions come with consequences." Castiel said softly as he noticed the look in Dean's eyes, the sense of realisation that became apparent. He himself understood that the closer he was becoming to him the further he was drifting from his brothers in heaven and edging closer to becoming one of the fallen.

"The only thing I have any faith in anymore is you Castiel. I don't even trust my own goddamn brother anymore and that freaks me the hell out." He said as the realisation dawned on him that for the first time he knew he really needed someone. "If I have to face the damned apocalypse then fine, and if it means going back to the Pit' then that's fine too but I can't fight this thing alone."

"You will not walk alone Dean. And Hell will not await your return once this is over. But there are choices to be made, ones which will be difficult but ones which only you can make." Sighing slightly, something he had learned from Dean himself, Castiel leant into Dean and kissed him as if it was almost entirely natural to do so, as if risking the wrath of God over one mortal was worth it. Dean did not pull back, something that surprised the angel, and Cass found himself uncertain what to say next as he pulled away from him.

The rain continued to crash down around them and in the silence he could almost see why Dean found solace in the night, felt as if by seeing the world through mortal eyes it seemed so entirely different from his own perspective.

"I see why you like it out here so much. It's peaceful, serene."

"Better with you here." Dean said simply while remaining still as he lay next to the angel, not questioning what had just happened between them. His faith was so often fleeting but as he glanced to Castiel Dean smiled softly, sensing that in the coming months the faith he needed so much to face the coming war was something he could find in the angel beside him.


End file.
